i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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