theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she pinky promised me she was 18
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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