I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Randomize
