I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
