One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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