i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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