Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
