he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
