In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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