Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
