I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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