Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
