I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Randomize
