"it" just moved
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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