Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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