my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
