Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
