Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
