u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
