Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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