TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
