my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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