chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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