I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
