first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
