you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
