I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
