TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
