Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
