Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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