He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
