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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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