dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
