my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is wine microwaveable?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
