Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
