dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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