Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
