The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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