Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
