I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry about my life...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
