is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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