Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
