If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
