I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
