If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
