I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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