We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
