Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I got inside last night via doggy door
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