Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
