I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
