I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the day after is always just damage control
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
