My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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